April 2023: Written at Thirty (Part 2)

There have been some changes in mentality this year.

The biggest and smallest change is that I readily accept any opinions, criticisms, complaints or even disappointments others have about me.

To cite a small incident that happened this year, one day I sent me a WeChat message telling me how disappointed she was with me: After so many years in WC, you must have been praised by those in the county. You are far from being as good as we once imagined, and can even be said to be very mediocre. My first reaction after hearing this was to admit the fact that I was indeed very mediocre and often worked very hard without getting results.

But having said that, if those people predicted me wrong, it should be a problem with their vision or judgment, not a problem with my lifestyle.

Following this premise, I found that after I accepted any opinions of others, I no longer wanted to prove myself. The advantage of this was that I could finally slow down and be less eager to get things done. The mantra I give myself now is “take it easy, take it easy” and recite it silently several times before doing anything. I think I was too eager for quick success and quick profit. During the bull market, I helped the project team send two tweets in the currency circle, and 300 USDC was immediately deposited into my account. As a result, I felt like money was everywhere, and I wanted to write on my face that I was an expert in the currency circle. But the fact is that I did earn a little through smart contracts over the years, but only a little. I am indeed busy every weekend, writing various arbitrage strategies, but so far I have lost more than I have earned, which is really shameful. Like Xu Zhisheng said, I can accept that I won’t be funny next year or even within three years, but I can’t accept that I won’t be funny within five years. I am more tolerant of myself. I can accept that I can’t do anything in three to five years, that I have not made any progress in life, and that I am still a solidity sucker. But I don’t allow ten years, or in other words, this life to reach such a high level.

Following this logic, after slowing down in doing things, my mood became much more stable. I used to like to have a loud voice, get excited when encountering good things, and panic when encountering problems. It has finally stabilized a lot recently. There is no need to be happy because Bitcoin is rising. If this is worth being happy, then you will also not be able to sleep when the price drops to a dog. But in fact, whether it goes up or down, whether it goes up or down, it will not affect your ability to eat more or less meat for dinner. Moreover, I will most likely never sell my bit of Bitcoin unless I encounter a moment when I need to use money to overturn my life. Having them is joy enough in itself, and I mean that very seriously.